Filial Duty

Z iyou asked about honoring your parents. The Master said: these days people think it means making sure their parents are fed. But even dogs and horses get fed. Without respect, what is the difference? Ziyou asked what filial duty was. The Master said: nowadays filial duty is taken to mean being able to provide food. But dogs and horses can all be provided for too. Without reverence, how do you tell them apart?

Zixia asked the same thing. The Master said: it's the face that's hard. When there's work to do, the young take it on; when there's wine and food, the elders are served first. But is that all there is to it? Zixia asked what filial duty was. The Master said: the difficulty is the countenance. When there is work, the young shoulder the labor; when there is wine and food, the elders are served. But is this really enough to count as filial duty?

Meng Wu Bo asked about honoring your parents. The Master said: give them only one thing to worry about — your health. Meng Wu Bo asked what filial duty was. The Master said: let your parents have nothing to worry about but your being ill.

“Even dogs and horses get fed. Without respect, what is the difference?”

Meng Yi Zi asked about honoring your parents. The Master said: don't go against them. Later, riding with Fan Chi, he mentioned it. Fan Chi asked what he had meant. He said: while they live, serve them by the rites; when they die, bury them by the rites, and offer to them by the rites. Meng Yi Zi asked what filial duty was. The Master said: do not go against them. Later, when Fan Chi was driving his carriage, the Master told him: Mengsun asked me about filial duty, and I said, do not go against them. Fan Chi said: what did you mean? The Master said: while they live, serve them according to ritual; when they die, bury them according to ritual and sacrifice to them according to ritual.

The Master said: while your parents are alive, don't travel far. If you must go, have a fixed place to go to. The Master said: while your parents are alive, do not journey far. If you do travel, keep to a set destination.

The Master said: a parent's age is something you can't not know. One number for joy. The same number for dread. The Master said: the years of your parents must not go unknown. On the one hand it brings gladness, on the other, fear.

The Master said: in serving your parents, you may push back — but gently. If you see they won't take the advice, stay respectful and don't cross them; carry the trouble, and don't let it turn to resentment. The Master said: in serving your parents, remonstrate with them gently. If you see your wishes are not followed, stay respectful and do not defy them; you toil for them, and do not resent it.

The Master said: while a man's father lives, watch what he means to do; after the father dies, watch what he actually does. If for three years he keeps to his father's way, you can call him a son who honored his parents. The Master said: while the father is alive, observe the son's intentions; after the father has died, observe the son's conduct. If for three years he does not depart from his father's way, he may be called filial.

Youzi — one of the disciples, not the Master — said: a man who honors his parents and defers to his elders is hardly the sort to defy his superiors; and a man who won't defy his superiors is not the sort to start a rebellion. The gentleman tends the root. Once the root is set, the Way grows from it. Honoring your parents and your elders — surely that is the root of goodness. Youzi said: it is rare for someone who honors his parents and respects his elders to be inclined to defy his superiors; and there has never been one who, not inclined to defy his superiors, was inclined to start a revolt. The gentleman attends to the root. With the root established, the Way is born. Honoring parents and elders — is this not the root of goodness?

孝 The original Chinese · honored as an artifact

今之孝者，是謂能養。至於犬馬，皆能有養；不敬，何以別乎？

Opening lines, classical Chinese · The Analects 論語